what happened to me???

this is serious.
i dont know why,
but i think,
I THINK,
i am losing sense of myself.

i lost track of time,
i forgot things,
i forgot my appointment,
i forgot the deadlines,
and many other dreadful things that i forgot when i shouldnt...

ok, please, i'm not suffering of any mental disease, for God's sake!
its just that i'm so full of myself and my other self
that i got drifted away, faraway from my actual and demanding responsibilities..

yeah.
i think maybe i, well, act, my mind refuses to think of
those things just because it got me tired,
so i decided to let it go.
most of the things.

and unfortunately,
many other correlated issues fell into the category and
i was actually jeopardizing my own future!

like just now,
well, we have this business plan thing
and before this,
i mean,
yesterday,
i'm into another thing to earn some 50 rgt
and so,
i didnt do any of the business plan.

well, its not actually that much,
but its messy,
and scattered.
thats why it requires quite some time
to arrange and organize it.

and then,
for i want the money badly, i was stuck in front of my laptop
to finish the job for 24-hours without sleeping.
yes.
without sleeping even a blink and
felt like a zombie.

just when i finish the job and
got paid,
i focused on the business plan and
we finally managed to get it done at 7 this morning.

worse part is,
i have been told that the submission is today
and most of the groups
are submitting it in today but not me,
because i forgot about the date
and i thought it was tomorrow,
on the same day of the paper.

so,
when i woke up just now,
and they asked about my paper
and when am i going to submit it,
it was then that i realize i
was wrong, again.

what the fish.
najah, najah...

please!
get hold of urself!
stop forgetting important things!
argh!

and so there i was in the kandang printing and printing and binding
and tonight,
reza will send it off.

bye, bye!
dreadful business plan.
waa!
i hope i dont fail this paper,
though the likeliness to fail
is damn high.

hahaha.
if i fail this paper,
no doubt everybody's eyes will pop out in surprised.
not forgotten mine too.
hahahaha

hopefully,
despite all the difficulties,
i hope i wont fail the paper.
and so do
my other group members.
please, please.

hahaha.
i dont know.
i am tired of everything.
and i want to end everything quickly,
ASAP.

tired.
and thats why i'm letting go many things.
and thats what i have been doing.

i have to find myself back.
before others do it,
and by that time,
it will be too late.

very, very late.