better be it.

i'm ok now,
well, i've learned that people dont think like i do,
and i dont think like they do.
its all human.
natural.

yeah.
so, i guess i have to let it go.

but i dont know if this one thing that is just, u know, for being sensitive,
everything, almost everything looks offensive to you
and the situation makes me feel as if i'm the one who did wrong.
i dont know whether these are all accident and coincidence or planned,
by whom, wallahua'lam but i dont like it.

if its between her and me,
why must i feel that as if those people
are acting against me?

well, if they actually are trying hard to make me feel bothered and helpless,
please stop doing so.
well, though i'm not really interested and i dont care but seeing one almost everyday,
u dont like witnessing unpleasant things just everyday.
and everytime.

yeah,
maybe its my fault.
but its just me being me when i'm depressed.
i will avoid, everything or everyone
that would remind me of unpleasant things or situation just to make myself feel better.

thats my own style and i cant help it.
i still talk to them, but less than usual.

its just me.
better than i go and bark around telling how i hate the situation to be that way.
i'm taking my time,
and i'm healing.

but if the situation is not helping and being accommodating,
i dont think i would like it be back to normal.

well, someone told me that if i just go back to normal,
means that talk to her as usual and so on,
those unpleasant feelings would go away.

and if its true that those people are trying to go against me, they would eventually stop
if things has gone back to normal.
yeah,
i know very well it would.
and it better be.

but the thing is i will talk to her,
but not in the meantime.

let me take my time please.
and as far as i'm concern, she understands very well.
its the situation that's offending me.
making me feel very uncomfortable.

if its just my emotional and hurt feelings going after my rational mind,
than it better be it.
coz i dont like it, very much.
seriously.
it better be my own bad thoughts.
it better be...