its all....

i dont know.
things may look as if it's all settled but for me,
there is still something remained unsettled.

well,
about the anonymous commentator, thats one thing but the thing bothering me much more
is still the marks.

yeah, call me childish.
u dont know the situation and why i'm being such a nagger.

i'm not satisfied with the marks because i dont know we would be penalized for being late.
plus, i asked sir that day, whether it's ok if i register our company late than others and he said ok, and he mentioned nothing about penalizing or whatsoever.
though its only five marks,
but could u imagine being in my place when u got less than what u expected?
its sad.
and frustrating.

and another thing is when others questioned why should i get more when i deserve it?
why am i so sensitive about this?

because i know very well that if i were them,
i wouldn't mind.
if i were them,
i wouldnt question them getting more than they deserve because we're friends.

its everybody's hardwork.
not a person only.
everyone worked hard for what they want.

so if i tried to get my best,
why should they envy me?
i'm not trying to be in their way of success.

i'm just asking for my fair share.
and its ok if couldnt get it.
at least i did try.

yeah. this is all assumptions.
just because i wont do that, so i assume people would also do the same for me.
what a noble thinking.
very noble.

maybe i should just stop being considerate for those called friends.
to avoid hurting.
yeah.
to preserve my very own feelings.
my fragile feelings.

go outspoken maybe?
hmm..but its just not me..
and i couldnt stop thinking about they sayings,
i just couldnt.
thats why i cant bear looking at them,
very much its hurting me when i thought of what they did.

yeah. they say forgive others' wrongdoings,
remember their rightdoing.
but i just couldnt.
i'm sorry i couldnt.