Sorry, but Thank you..

i dont know whether i should spill this or not.
but i'm hurt.
and sad.
maybe i should just write this in my restricted blog,
but i want u to read this.

whoever u are.

initially, i was mad,
very mad at you.
but it turned out,
i wasnt mad,
but i'm actually hurt.
and sad.
yes.
i'm sad.
and i feel like crying,
but i'm holding my tears very hard.
why?
because i could only cry for someone i called FRIEND.

but my rational mind is arguing with me.
for why should i spill my tears,
for you,
whom i called friend,
when u thought me no more,
than a foe?

yes.
i shouldnt cry.
but i wanted to.
because u are my friend.
but i couldnt imagine,
and it never occur to me.
what do u have against me?
that spurred u to criticize me so?
what is it that u dislike about me?

i wish i could confront u,
and ask u right into ur face.
but i know i cant.
because i'll be crying like no end
once i open my mouth and bombard u with questions..

i know i couldnt.
but i wish u read this.
and please,
answer me,
silently or not,
what is it that u have against me?

because i dont think,
i have anything against u.
coz u r a friend.

a friend i cherish forever.
u might not know,
u might thought otherwise.
but its true.

if not,
i wont feel this way,
for reading ur thoughtless comment,
about me,
in someone else's blog.

and i really didnt see that coming.
i dont know u hate me that much.

whatever it is,
thank u,
friend,
for making me cry...
and i will never again,
cry for u.
and thank you friend,
for calling me stupid.
because i'm one,
for not knowing and not being able to identify u,
as a foe, not friend.
and thank you friend,
for knocking me into sense,
that life is not good always.
and thank u friend,
for reminding me,
about my mistake,
that u commented on
and spurred my anger about.

and sorry friend,
for i wasnt able to be good friend,
that u mistook me,
for everything i said and done.
and sorry friend,
for making u mad,
though my pure intention was not to,
and sorry friend,
for everything,
and nothing,
i gave u,
but purely anger,
and sadness.

and thank u,
friend,
for being my friend,
once.
thanks.
a lot.
for EVERYTHING.

hopefully,
in the future,
our future will not cross each other,
so that whatever happens now,
neither the two of us,
will recall...
cause i dont want to...
as i caused you grief.
and that pulled me down,
in grief too.
great unbelievable and inevitable grief.

SORRY, BUT I THANK YOU..