OK, OK, I'm BACK!

wow!

thats all i can say. i'm speechless myself seeing the last post i wrote is 3 MONTHS AGO!!!

well, seriously, i was not in the mood to write, though I'VE A LOT IN MY MIND, but whenever i thought of writing, i would restrain myself, cause i know i would spend a lot of time to complete a post.

now, its 2.30 am.

i've had enough sleep, and i'm in a very good mood and refreshed mind cause I'M NOW FREE!

well, not officially, cause by the time i got my result for this very memorable last semester, and if the result is promising, then i would be OFFICIALLY FREE.

OH ALLAH. LET ME BE FREE.

current plan?

naa. i wanna sleep and eat and surf the net and eat and sleep and surf the net.

thats what most of us would probably pick as the already-set-in-mind answer. who wouldn't after a long 3-4 years of studying? someone even had to go for 7 years of studying, just to complete the degree, like UIA darul Quran students. yes, i thought of that too. but i never knew HE HAD ANOTHER PLAN FOR ME.

like what HE stated in the holy Quran, WAMAKARU, WAMAKARALLAH, WALLAHU KHAIRUL MAAKIRIIN.....

sorry, cant remember the verse.

we plan, He plans too, but HE is the GREATEST PLANNER, and his plan always, WINS.

and now, for those who had been following my other blogs, maybe you're already bored with me saying,

"sorry, i'm too busy, i cant post new entries."

"i promise i'll find time to write."

"sorry for being late. too busy with thesis."

"i'm doing my practical now, and life's hectic"

TRUST ME, i hated those sentences too, and thats the reason why i stopped replying to my cbox for quite a while. not bcoz i hate seeing ur hopeful words for new entries, but bcoz i know i wont be able to keep my promise and the more i wrote, the more i'm hurt.

and i posted about 2 entries a month, on the contrary to my own saying that i will post 3 entries A WEEK. yes, i'm a munafik now, since i dont keep promise, but i'm truly sorry cause as human being, i cant see the future, and i overlooked everything. i thought i would be fine, but i wasnt fine.

so i wouldn't dare to post new entries as my state of mind was not GOOD and it might affect the quality of writing. so i didnt write, and i kept quite. a few of the readers even asked whether i'm fine since i didnt reply to others, like i always did, but now, i'm back! and i would reply to every post in the cbox!

ok. my plan for now. actually, PLANS.

for now, i have:

1. two book writings, one novel (must be submitted before july,, so technically, i dont have much time to waste if i want to produce a quality writing. for those who dont know yet, the novel was actually started as an e-novel in this blog, entitled ANAKNYA, ANAKKU JUA) and one educational book (cant give details until the book is published, but it must be ready by the end of this year. so guess what? i'll still be in shah alam for quite a long time even when i've finished my study) p/s: please anticipate my novel!
2. one recommended post by my lecturer - malay-english translator (i've applied for the post though i'm a little bit worried about my JPA, still, i hope i will get the job! lets pray with me!)
   
3. if i'm fortunate enough to get the translator job, i would go for another thing offered by one academy for undergraduates, things like training and working at the same time. it's about writing business correspondence for companies, something like that and i think i would love to go for it to polish my writing skills, well, apart from being paid for it. haha
   
4. this is compulsory. applying for at least 5 POSTS IN THE SPA, as i'm a JPA scholar, and i'm actually bound to their contract. i hate it when i think about this, but the JPA kept me alive all these years, so, its supposed to be PAYBACK time. hahaha. but trust me, as soon as i finish with them, I WILL BE OFF AND NOWHERE TO BE FOUND IN THE GOVERNMENT!

yeah, thats not actually too much, but the book writing demands a lot, and the educational one is the toughest, its educational, what do u expect?

basically, what am i doing right now is a total contrast to what i'd pictured myself doing when i first entered this programme, ENGLISH FOR PROFESSIONAL COMM.

my initial plan was to apply for the Young Lecturer Scheme offered by UiTM.yes, i want to be a lecturer, and i still long to be one, in fact i'm still teaching in the tuition center two nights a week. and basically, the tuition salary is my sole financial source for now. well, since i started it 3 months ago.

but since i stopped getting dean's list award last two sems, i've started to have a blur vision not to go into it. its kinda boring to stay in the same place though my future would of course be well off if i go for it. and there's high chance for me to get accepted, but i wanna do linguistics if i were to pursue my studies. so, i dont wanna apply for many reasons.

1. i'm tired of studying. (though it's only been 4 years)
   
2. i have another things to do now that i know what i can do best.
3. i want to apply for lecturer posts in the SPA. so, i might still get to be a lecturer.
4. if i were to apply, the master programme offered by faculty is still not many and kinda limited, and i dont want to do things i dont want to do. (high chance for me to be forced to do so if i still wanna apply for the scheme)
5. why should i constrain myself for one thing only? life is offering me more, and i'm looking for more. .......greedy.hahaha

so, basically, i dont want to pursue my studies for now, not now. later. its not about money, but its all about me. and i'm stubborn. no one can force me to do things i hate, not even my parents. ;)

so, again, now that i'm free and SUPPOSED TO HAVE MORE AND ABUNDANT FREE TIME, for my readers, i would try to keep up to the schedule of my other two e-novels. (again, PROMISE.)

but promise gives hopes, right? and i trying to put hope and faith in myself too, apparently.

please anticipate my novel, and lets pray with me that our lives would be blossomed with HIS never ending LOVE AND MERCY.....

till i write again...

salam....